Cuisine Undercover - Arena view Cafe - 2.5 stars

I wasn’t always an uptight restaurant reviewer – demanding the highest of quality from produce to table cloths.

I’m reminded of this occasionally, when the smell of instant coffee makes me smile – transporting me back to childhood holidays at Flag Motor Inns, where we ripped into tubes of Nescafe Blend 43 as though they were powdered gold.    

And when I visit places like Etihad Stadium’s Arena View Café. Classy? Gosh no. Kind of crappy? Hell yes. But sorta cool and fun?? There’s no denying it - most definitely.

Even entering the stadium of a weekday has a kind of novel feel to it. A whiff of “weekend” creeps into the air. Closely followed by yet another smell of my childhood, the overcooked Sunday roast. The source, I soon discovered, a bain-marie, from which I think Monday’s Roast of the Day special for $10.50 is served.

As the assault on the senses subsided, I caught sight of the view. Having made our way through the cavernous concrete exterior, then the dark and jangly buzz of the poker machines and TAB, the light from the café’s floor-to-ceiling windows catches you off guard.

But the sight of the vast and empty stadium, brightly polished and lit before you, is really quite spectacular. And just not something you expect to see at lunch-time during the week. The recently awoken child within let out a soft, “Cool …”

The bistro-style menu is exactly what you’d expect in a place where stale beer also permeates the carpet. Fish and chips, schnitzel and chips (but with some nice touches like lemon wedges and tomato relish), a pasta bar which offers two choices daily at $14.50 each, and a daily chef’s special, which is always just $10.50. And of course, the parma and chips (which on Friday’s comes as a $14.50 pot and parma deal). It was deep fried, but I must admit, with its lashings of melted cheese, it really hit the spot.

A chicken tortilla next to me was a very generous size and came with a good dose of sour cream, lettuce and avocado salsa, plus a salad on the side. My colleague reported it was enjoyable, with the chicken boasting a lovely barbecue-grilled flavour, although the meat itself it was a bit dry. Whatever. It was only $15 bucks.

They were “fun meals”. Weekend-at-the-pub meals. Meals reminiscent of the dining out experience of my suburban youth. With good old fashioned pots to boot, and wine that comes is those tiny glasses, yet filled to the brim.

It’s not the place to take fancy clients or your boss – but it’s bang-on for a group-office party, or even a place to go if you’ve had the bang-up office party the night before.