Ask R U OK? Any day

R U OK? Day and Mental Health Awareness Month helps bring attention to the importance of psychological and emotional wellbeing, but that’s just the beginning.

What does it mean to put this awareness into action?

With the help of ruok.org.au/how-to-ask we have put together some simple tips on what to do if someone you know appears to be struggling.

Always remember the person you are speaking with is doing their best to cope. When we are in pain, we lose perspective and feel like things will never change. That’s why hope and optimism are so important.

Ask R U OK?

Open up the conversation by asking “how are you going?” or “what’s been happening?”. Mention specific things that have made you concerned for them or noticed changes in their behaviour.

If they don’t want to talk, don’t criticise, judge or launch into advice. Remember you are offering an invitation to help, if you can.

You could say: “I’d like it if you called me if you ever want to chat” or “is there someone else you’d rather talk to?”

Listen with an open mind

Take what they say seriously and don’t interrupt or rush the conversation. The act of explaining their situation in a way you can understand means that you are helping them through the issues in their mind.

Don’t judge their experiences or reactions but acknowledge that things seem tough for them.

You could even demonstrate that you have been listening and understanding by repeating what you have heard back to them in your own words.

Encourage action

• “What have you done in the past to manage a similar situation?”
• “How would you like me to support you?”
• “When I was going through a difficult time, I tried _____. Maybe you might find it useful?”
• “It might be useful to link with someone who can support you. I’m happy to help you find the right person.”

If they have been feeling really down for more than two weeks encourage them to see a professional. Some conversations are too big for friends or family to take on alone.

Check in

Give yourself a reminder to check in with them in a couple of weeks. If they’re really struggling, follow up with them sooner.

Ask if they’ve found a better way to manage the situation. If they haven’t done anything, don’t judge them. They might just need someone to listen to them for a moment.

Action takes courage, energy and hope.

Stay in touch and be there for them. Genuine care and concern can make a lasting difference.

Remember, while you care about this person, you are not wholly responsible for them. Your role is to be “alongside” not to fix the problem for them. •